Only Him
by Desert-Rose6
Summary: Logan and Kitty. A complex relationship in a complex time. After Logan discovers Kitty's late night use of the Danger Room his ideas of her start to change. When the Professor asks Logan to confront Kitty it starts a snowball of drama. Where will it end?
1. Only Him

**Only Him**

**Chapter 1**

**By: Desert-Rose6**

She pounded and evaded the deadly robots. Usually she would take out all of her frustrations from the long, hard day in here. She would sneak into the Danger Room and set it on the program that she'd made for herself. She would let out all the feelings from the day. The feelings that she was not allowed to show. The feelings that she kept hidden from her teammates and, until this time every night, from herself.

Today was different.

Today she was specifically taking her frustrations of him out in this session.

She felt it whenever he was near. She knew when he came down at night to watch over her in the Danger Room.

She didn't stop, not for him.

She wouldn't dare let anyone else see this side of her, this dark side that she kept hidden from the world. This oppressed part of her very soul that was only allowed out when there was no on to see its aggressive and blood thirsty needs. Only he saw this side of her.

In the morning when she came down for breakfast they didn't act like anything was different. They pretended she was still the same person that she had always been. They pretended that he wasn't watching over her as though he were her guardian angel. And everything was right with the world.

She knew he would never betray her trust and tell someone about her secret Danger Room excursions. He knew that he couldn't stop her from wanting to kill everything in sight on a nightly basis. And that was how it worked, until today.

Today, he had approached her in the kitchen. He had started out pretending like usual, but something changed. He'd touched her. Not improperly, just putting her hair behind her ear while she rambled. It had been normal. It was something that had happened before. Her long bangs would block their eye contact and he would move them out of the way.

It was all completely normal. It changed everything. She knew it had. She knew the way his fingers slowed halfway through the motion. She knew when his hand slowly moved to her face. She knew in the barest whisper of his finger tips as he skimmed the curve of her jaw. She knew everything had changed. She knew, too, that nothing had changed, when he backed off startled at his actions and left without a word.

That touch, that innocent touch, had changed everything for her. She'd gotten all she'd ever wanted from him in that touch. It meant that he saw her. He saw into her. When he took it away she felt as though she would cry. But she wouldn't, she couldn't, let her emotions show. She was the happy-go-lucky girl; she never got sad and she never got angry.

She felt that pull in her heart again, he was watching. She fought harder; she became deadlier with the knowledge that he was watching her. The gruff loner in the command room would never be hers. So she fought, like she always does, to try and forget the times that day, that week, that month when she could have told him how deep her feelings were for the man who was so much her companion and so much her angel, but even more the man she's been falling in love with. She knew that to him she'd always be a child. She knew that except for the rare moments like today, she'd always be the Wolverine's Half-Pint. And that would never change.


	2. When Did It Start?

**Only Him**

**Chapter 2**

**When Did It Start?**

**By: Desert-Rose6**

He doesn't know when it started.

Which unnerves him, to say the least. He is always awake this time of night. It helps that this is the quietest and most peaceful time in the mansion, because it is usually his nightmares that wake him.

He does different things during this time. Works out in the weight room. Meditates on the roof. Hunts in the nearby wood. He hadn't been to the Danger Room to chase away his demons in a long while.

He doesn't know when it started, but he remembers the night that he found her.

He'd gone into the control room to setup a particularly vicious simulation. When he realized one was already running. When he looked the specs over he didn't think anyone, with the exception of him, could handle such a deadly program.

Looking through the windows of the control room he'd barely been able to restrain himself from going through them to drag her to safety.

The few moments of fighting himself had allowed him to watch her work. And it was that which finally settled his internal debate. She could fight. She could hand herself.

He had stayed that night partly out of awe for this fierce creature he had only ever seen hints of and partly out of worry.

It was the questions that always brought him back.

If she is this good now, why isn't she better during regular sessions? What if she gets in over her head with one of these programs? What is she trying to prove? Is she hurt? Is that why she's doing this? Who hurt her? Why didn't she tell me about it?

These questions and more haunted him during the day. But they hung on him like chains binding him there to the room and to her as he watched from the control room.

Today was different though. It was different questions that pulled him into the control room. It had been different questions that haunted him

He didn't know when it had started and that really unnerved him, especially since he'd been watching her for over a month.

He'd been slowly figuring things out on his own. Watching her interact with everyone more carefully than he had before. Checking her moods. He'd always paid her more attention, especially after that thing in Canada.

Brave little thing standing up to him like that when he wasn't in his right mind.

What he found out had been that she was doing it on purpose. All giddy and giggly when she thought people were around. Then quick as a whip she'd be quiet and somber. Not depressed or nothing. Just introverted. He understood that.

Then something feral when she came down here. Something aggressive and ferocious. He understood that too.

His best guess was that she had started this after they beat Apocalypse's sorry hide.

They'd all changed, some didn't realize how much for months afterward. They'd catch themselves doing something that they wouldn't have ever considered doing before then.

Like watching a 17 year old girl take out all her needs and fears on robots that won't bleed and won't die no matter how much you want them to.

It wasn't all this that brought him here tonight, though. It was new reasons. It was becoming too much. It was starting to become an obsession.

She was starting to become too much like him.

She was starting to become something else to him.

She was starting to become too much for him.

It showed today. Today when they were talking. They always talked. Or rather she talked and he nodded at the appropriate times. It had been a simple touch. It had been a simple touch that pulled him in and opened his eyes.

It was like waking up.

Being in the control room was that first groggy stretch in the morning.

But that touch had shot him awake. Completely aware of his surroundings, his actions, his thoughts and feelings.

Completely aware of how little girls don't stay little girls for long.

He sat down in the control room and watched her again tonight with all of this on his mind. From not knowing where it began to knowing exactly how it could end. And not knowing what the hell he should do about it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Author's Note:

Hey guys and girls! It's been quite awhile since last I was seen on . I was away so long I forgot my password. I was gone so long I'd changed my email. You get the point.

This story was originally written while the series was still running. It was started before the Apocalypse arc so none of that was included. With the new X-men series finally showing in the states I thought I'd go through all the Evo episodes and all my favorite fanfiction. I was thoroughly inspired to rewrite the stories I have up, starting with Only Him.

Only Him was originally a one shot that I was asked to make into a full length story. A lot of it will be similar. Some of it will be exactly the same. And parts of it will be all new.

I hope you enjoy it.

Desert Rose


	3. Coffee is Amazing, But Silence is Better

**Only Him**

**Chapter 3**

**Coffee is Amazing, But Silence is Better**

**By: Desert-Rose6**

I wake up every morning. It would be rather depressing if it weren't for the amazing moments I can look forward to once I'm actually awake and moving. So, every morning I put on my "Don't-Try-Anything-With-Me-I'm-A-Badass" face and head down to breakfast.

I have a few general rules that I follow. I eat as much meat as possible. I use my claws as often as possible. I talk as little as possible. And I don't let anyone harm mine. And these aren't just the rules for breakfast or something. These are the rules that I follow at all times.

After breakfast, the kids go to school and I get to read my paper and drink my coffee in silence. Rare. Beautiful. Golden silence.

It's these few blissful and amazing moments without someone- friend, enemy or teenager- blowing something up that I look forward to every time that the alarm clock demands I wake up.

These moments are so sacred that they block out all memories, all thought. There is nothing but the delicious aroma of a real cup of coffee, the scent of newspaper ink, and the absolute silence.

I heard the door open and I knew I wasn't going to be exceptionally happy about whatever it was he was here to bother me about.

"Hello, Logan."

Oh, the bullshit is steaming today. I could pick up that nasty stench thirty miles away on a still day. I didn't know what it was he wanted to weasel me into doing, but I know when I'm being fed all the B.S. I need to manipulate me into doing whatever he wanted me to do in the first place.

"Hello, _Charles_."

Isn't that something, he looks all embarrassed. Coughing into his hand to cover for it, like it ain't obvious.

That's what you get bub. You knew I would be in a good mood with my coffee, and my paper, and my silence and you came in here to bother me. Lucky all you got was embarrassed.

Could'a decided to cut somethin' off.

"I'll just cut to the chase then, shall I?"

*Glare*

"Yes, well, I'm concerned about Kitty."

Alright, coffee, paper, and silence are now gone. I remember yesterday so fast it must've looked like whiplash.

He spills the whole thing out like running water. Must've been thinking about it for awhile.

"I was cleaning out the simulations for the Danger Room and found several under a name that no student uses. I was worried that perhaps Scott was making these dangerous programs to help ease his worries over his increased leadership responsibilities. When I looked through the security logs, however, I found that Kitty had been using the Danger Room as her own little battlefield.

As you know, many of the students have had difficulties with the rising anti-mutant sentiment since the defeat of Apocalypse. Students' grades and emotional well-being have suffered. We were very careful to keep an eye over them and assist them through this difficult time. I felt as though we failed Kitty in this respect. I had thought she handled herself extremely well in the face of all that has happened and is happening. When I found her using these deadly simulations I assumed that I had let her fall through the cracks during a time when our students needed us the most."

"You make it sound like that ain't the real cause of the whole thing, Chuck. She can't have been doing this too long now."

"She hasn't been using the Danger Room for very long. The oldest recording of her using it in this manner was about a week after she and Avalanche broke off their relationship once again."

"I don't think Alvers is worth all that energy. I'll talk to her about redirecting it."

**Translation:** I really want to beat the shit out of that boy but you won't let me, so I'll talk to her and get her to realize the shit should be beat out of that boy.

"No, Logan. What I mean is that this goes deeper than what has been happening recently. I think what we are seeing in these Danger Room simulations are simply a new symptom of a larger and more complex problem."

Great. Complex.

"I think that you should talk to her about why she's been using the Danger Room."

Great. Complex _and_ Kitty. Like I wasn't already starting to have Complex and Kitty problems.

"Surely you've noticed that Kitty's abilities in her own Danger Room simulations are high above the abilities she exhibits in classes or group sessions?"

Yeah. That had been one of those questions that pulled him back to her.

"Logan, I went back through the records I've kept of Kitty and those kept by her previous schools. She's considered, on a whole, to be academically average. She, more often than not, receives a 77% in her courses. I've always felt that she was more capable and talented than that would lead one to believe."

"What are you saying, Chuck? That she's lazy with her school work and that's why she's in the Danger Room every night?"

"No, what I'm saying is that their might be a certain parallel between her academic abilities and her fighting abilities. If she has been holding herself back during group or class sessions in the Danger Room than might she be holding herself back in school as well? Would a student, with the intellect Kitty has lead us to believe she has, be able to so deftly defeat those simulations?"

"Not even Cyke or Jean could take on those sims, Chuck. Takes more than brute strength or a tall-order power. Takes strategy and counter strategy to fight the adapting sims she runs."

Takes more of a fighting intellect and maturity that no one in this place has. Nobody but me.

"I think that you should talk to Kitty about why she's been doing this for so long. Something must have pushed her in this direction. Try and find out what it is that drives her to do this."

"I don't think so, Chuck. You're the mind reader. You should talk to her."

"What Kitty needs isn't someone who will go through her mind to find out what is going on. She needs someone who can talk her through it. Someone that she feels comfortable confiding in. She needs to talk to you Logan."

"I'm not a talker, Chuck. She'd be better off talking to someone else."

"You may not talk to others often, but when you speak what you say is usually well thought out. Logan, it's more than likely that's she's been pushed or frightened into this type of behavior. She needs you to save her."

Needs me to save her.

I can hear the chair turning. He's almost to the door.

Needs me to save her.

I could just say, "Hell, no. Make someone else do it."

Needs me to save her.

I lift my head up from my hands and turn to watch him leave.

"You're a real ass sometimes, Chuck."

He stops, just for a second, and I can tell he's smiling. That little I knew you would do it smile.

I hate that smile.

But we both knew I would do what he wanted me to do when he came in here.

Needs me to save her.

Who's going to save me from her?


	4. Running

**Only Him**

**Chapter 4**

**Running**

**By: Desert-Rose6**

The squeak of the garage door opening almost killed her as she hid in the shadows and waited for it to finish rising.

Logically, she knew that it always made this sound, that it only seemed louder in the still quiet of the night.

She knew what made it even worse was that she wasn't supposed to be out there this late.

She quietly rolled out Rogue's dark green motorcycle, debating the benefits of leaving the garage door open so she wouldn't have to deal with the noise again, and quietly slipped away from the grounds.

When she felt she was far enough away she started it up and drove off.

She tried to clear her mind of everything that had happened.

It had been a bad idea.

She knew it had been a bad idea. But she hadn't been thinking, she'd been feeling, and she'd done it anyway.

It had all been a bad idea.

And now she would have to live with the consequences of knowing she had killed someone she cared so deeply about.

She would live with the memories of his death, at least.

But she wasn't about to stick around for the aftermath of what had happened.

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I know, I know – You hate me, you really hate me. There's more coming soon. I just felt that this part should be its own chapter. It didn't fit with the last one and it doesn't flow with the next one. Which will be up soon. I promise.

Please review,

Desert Rose


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